Empathy as a Bridge: Insights from Mary Gordon in the Fall ’24 Issue of Principal Connections Magazine.
Leadership in education has become increasingly complex and political. Principals now swim in a sea of controversy whether they like it, or not. For instance, 10 years ago, it would have been unimaginable that principals, school districts and ministers of education would need to take a position on Artificial Intelligence.
Speaking last year at the Collision technology conference about the use of AI in education, something became obvious to me. It was the lack of understanding or valuing of the role of real live teachers and of the human connection between teachers and children. Principals and teachers do not just teach subjects, through relational teaching, they teach people. By incorporating empathy into their teaching, educators on every level have a huge influence on children. They provide a role model. Empathy cannot be ‘taught’ as we might teach math but can be ‘caught’ through live interactions with empathic educators with whom children experience a supportive relationship.
Empathy is an essential skill for leaders. Forbes magazine considers empathy the most important leadership skill [1]. Empathy is no longer considered a soft trait but a powerful tool in negotiations and in hard-core business.
Empathic leadership is more than a popularity contest. It is strategic, it is relational and it is powerful. It is not used to manipulate, but it is used for increased understanding and connection. Empathy is the connection to the emotional realm of another person and is inclusive of a wide range of emotions. Empathy is probably the single most powerful force to support relationships between principals and staff.
When teachers feel understood, accepted and supported, it is usually because they had an empathic principal. Principals have complex jobs, and they will find if they use empathic listening – listening without judgment, listening with no assumptions and listening to understand the perspective of the other person – people will feel heard and will be less guarded and more open to constructive discussions about change.
Incorporating empathy into all the roles educational leaders play can make a tremendous difference in one’s effectiveness as a leader. Empathy is the bridge that connects everyone whether they are teachers who report to you, colleagues with whom you work, children in your schools or the school community. Empathy can be disarming when dealing with conflict.
True empathy incorporates both cognitive empathy, seeing the perspective of others, and affective empathy, feeling the emotions of others. In Roots of Empathy, we define empathy as the ability “to feel with the other.” Our definition goes beyond cognitive empathy or perspective taking. Educators at every level have always done a good job of helping students take the perspective of the other. The trouble with cognitive empathy on its own is that it can be used to help or to harm. Sociopaths may have high levels of perspective taking, but typically very low levels of affective empathy.
Roots of Empathy (ROE) is an elementary school-based program founded in Toronto in 1996, which has spread to 11 countries. At the heart of the ROE program is a baby who becomes a “tiny teacher.” A neighbourhood infant and parent visit the school classroom nine times over the school year. A trained ROE instructor coaches students to observe the baby’s development and to label the baby’s feelings and intentions. In this experiential learning model, the baby is the “teacher” and a lever the instructor uses to help children to identify and reflect on their feelings and the feelings of others.
The emotional literacy taught in the program lays the foundation for safer and more caring classrooms where children are the “changers.” They become more competent in understanding their own feelings and the feelings of others (empathy), and are therefore less likely to physically, psychologically or emotionally hurt each other through bullying and other emotional cruelties. ROE thereby addresses both cognitive and affective empathy – it educates both the mind and the heart.
The ROE program is an evidence-based classroom program that has undergone numerous international randomized controlled trials on three continents by independent academic researchers. These studies have consistently demonstrated that the ROE program increases empathy and emotional literacy, resulting in reduction of aggression and bullying. Additionally, students exhibit prosocial behaviour such as caring, helping, collaborating, and showing kindness and inclusion. These results have been shown to last over time.[2]
We are currently experiencing a crisis of connection in the world. This crisis of connection is manifested in loneliness, in poor mental health and a cascade of other negative effects. Both the United Kingdom and Japan have recognized the need to establish a Minister of Loneliness in their governments [3]. The UK Minister of Loneliness, Tracey Crouch, recognized the relationship between empathy and loneliness when the ministry was established.
When leaders in education lead with empathy, they will build trust and will be able to gain insights that otherwise might not be shared. Empathic leaders increase inclusion in their schools, which decreases loneliness and contributes to positive school culture. Empathy does not take longer; it is a shortcut to connection and to building relationships. We all learn better and feel better.
Principals who appreciate what Jonathan Haidt has labelled “the anxious generation” are able to reflect empathically on the epidemic of poor mental health in their students. In his book, The Anxious Generation: How the great rewiring of childhood is causing an epidemic of mental illness, Haidt has drawn attention to a possible role for educators to reverse the tide of anxiety in childhood. The answer is not just censure on its own, but the need to lead with empathy.
Empathic leadership can inspire greater empathy in staff. Empathy is the leadership competency most important in developing relationships and a positive school climate. Empathy begets empathy. Empathy is the bridge that connects everyone.
Incorporating empathy into all the roles educational leaders play can make a tremendous difference in one’s effectiveness as a leader. Empathy is the bridge that connects everyone whether they are teachers who report to you, colleagues with whom you work, children in your schools or the school community. Empathy can be disarming when dealing with conflict.
True empathy incorporates both cognitive empathy, seeing the perspective of others, and affective empathy, feeling the emotions of others. In Roots of Empathy, we define empathy as the ability “to feel with the other.” Our definition goes beyond cognitive empathy or perspective taking. Educators at every level have always done a good job of helping students take the perspective of the other. The trouble with cognitive empathy on its own is that it can be used to help or to harm. Sociopaths may have high levels of perspective taking, but typically very low levels of affective empathy.
Roots of Empathy (ROE) is an elementary school-based program founded in Toronto in 1996, which has spread to 11 countries. At the heart of the ROE program is a baby who becomes a “tiny teacher.” A neighbourhood infant and parent visit the school classroom nine times over the school year. A trained ROE instructor coaches students to observe the baby’s development and to label the baby’s feelings and intentions. In this experiential learning model, the baby is the “teacher” and a lever the instructor uses to help children to identify and reflect on their feelings and the feelings of others.
The emotional literacy taught in the program lays the foundation for safer and more caring classrooms where children are the “changers.” They become more competent in understanding their own feelings and the feelings of others (empathy), and are therefore less likely to physically, psychologically or emotionally hurt each other through bullying and other emotional cruelties. ROE thereby addresses both cognitive and affective empathy – it educates both the mind and the heart.
Mary Gordon
Founder / President
Roots of Empathy
[1] Brower, T, 2021. Empathy is the most important leadership skill according to research. Forbes. Available at: https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2021/09/19/empathy-is-the-most-importantleadership-skill-according-to-research/ Accessed June 14, 2024
[2] Roots of Empathy Research 2024. Available at: https://rootsofempathy.org/research/ Accessed 22 June, 2024.
[3] Government of United Kingdom. Joint message from the UK and Japanese Loneliness Ministers. June 2021. Available at: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/joint-message-from-the-uk-and-japaneseloneliness-ministers#:~:text=We%2C%20the%20Minister%20for%20Loneliness,is%20an%20important%20international%20challenge. Accessed June 22nd, 2024.
[4] Haidt J. The Anxious Generation. How the great rewiring of childhood is causing an epidemic of mental illness. Penguin Press. 2024.
Reproduced with permission from the Catholic Principals Council Ontario.
Principal Connections Magazine. Fall 2024. Volume 28. Issue 1
To accesss the whole issue, please visit this link